Confrontation: The Art of Pushing Back.

Confrontation..the very sound of the word will make most people run and hide, let alone the actual need to address a gaping situation with another person.

People are scared to death of confrontation. It amazes me. I grew up in a home that was like world war three on any given Sunday.. Confrontation was a way of life. But I always saw resolution. Whenever my family would fight there would always be a common ground, genuine understanding, with plenty of hugs, kisses and I love you’s at the end.

So why are millennial’s so afraid of confrontation? What is it about-facing another person that is so terrifying? I am just going to throw out there that it could have something to do with us constantly posting to a media channel that gives others the opportunity to show whether or not they like us by hitting a button.

It doesn’t take a rocket surgeon to hone in on that one 😉

But what I want to get to root of here is why people have such a hard time confronting others and pushing back on issues where we may not see eye to eye.

When Wells Fargo was in its hay day the chief executive team had a war room. A war room designtated for one purpose: confrontation.

The rules were as fallows:

1. Everything that needs to be said will be said before leaving the war room.

2. You will not leave this room until all matters have been settled, reconciled, and or tabled for a later discussion on a scheduled follow-up date/time.

3. All matters discussed will not be take personally and will be released/let go of upon exiting the war room.

The executives of Wells Fargo have long since testified that it was one of the secrets to their success.

They were able to come together, argue, disagree, go to war with each other, all for the betterment of the company. You see, each one of these executives were so passionate about the company that they had to have a war room. They needed to have a place to unleash their concerns in a constructive way so they could all be going in the same direction.

If we as individuals do not confront or bring the necessary matters to light in each other’s lives we will never grow. We will stagnate and not see higher levels of success.

I want to ask you a tough question: Do you care more about the future of others by speaking into their lives or about your long-term comfort?

In a gentle way I want to gauge your level of selfishness.

If in fact you are more concerned about your level of comfort than you are about those around you and the future of your organization then you are settling into allowing selfishness dominate your life.

Do you want to live a selfish life or do you want to be an agent of change?

(I get that this is a very in your face blog but hey, it’s a blog about confrontation, what did you expect?) lol

Here’s the reality, I know my audience too well to even think for a minute that any of you are consciously selfish people.

We all deal with fear. I deal with it all the time. Our chief editor at my agency has nicknamed me “dirty harry” because I have to deal with all of the matters no one else wants to deal with. All of the confrontation.

Here is what this position has taught me. Real, genuine relationships are built on honesty. Do you want real, genuine relationships in your life, or do you want what can only be defined as a certain level of plasticity in the way you relate to people? (That’s plastic for us common folk)

People, anything of any substance or matter in this life comes down to the people we surround ourselves with throughout the journey. People are the key to your success in life but if you are too focused on yourself to genuinely help others you will never find your true level of success. Because people wont be able to help you, if you don’t help them

Have you heard the term, “hurt people, hurt people.” Exactly.

You have the opportunity to change the course of history through your boldness and ability to speak the truth in love to those around you who have unlimited potential but just need someone to help them see some light.

The strategy isn’t hard, pray, have faith and just speak the truth in love. The hard part is starting, but once you’ve started, you’ll be sure to finish and finish well.

The world is yours, so take delight.

Ben